ILY McKenna and Bailey!!

 same thing comes out of it, no matter how many times you do it.

This week has been insane. On monday i had to redo my whole room, it was a complete mess, I couldnt believe all the shit I had. then monday night i checked out all the local gas stations. haha. tuesday i didnt wake up until like 2pm, which was super insane. It was needed though. I bought some amazing boots from nordstrom, i'm in love with them. im still getting all the plans for warped tour set up. connor is being a little retarded, he cant figure out what hes doing now. i think im getting a monroe, which i am super psyced for! ive been waiting forever! I cant figure out the sound on this computer, so i'm stuck with silence, it really sucks, alot. i was at this crazy party tonight, sadly though, no pictures were taken because i didnt bring my camera, because i wasnt aware there was going to be a party. i went to my friends house and next thing i know, boom! theres liquor and food and people i didnt know everywhere. it was very fun though. im looking for some big fake necklaces still for a prank i have to pull on my friend. All these kids at the mall were calling me fake and shit today. i could really care less. oh well. i need a new banner, someone make me oneee? please?



CONNOR!

---

---

Ok, no, not really. But I felt I should display some form of emotion in this. Its been awhile since I've updated anything really, but what can I say, I dont have anything to say. Its been pretty crazy I guess. My lifes been filled with lemon water, altoids, and bubble baths. Ya know, the typical. I recently exited out of school, cause it was the last day on the 5th. It was...excting I guess. My summer sucks. I miss this guy alot, but really, why does it matter? Of course, it couldve...anyway! I went to the 2008 Sanford Childrens Gala, it was amazing. It was in this huge tent, there was a circus in the tent when we were eating. There were carnival games and it was just crazy. It cost like, 200,000 to do or something like that. I dont know, it was cool. I just got the most amazing pair of lepoard print shorts. I'm in love with them. Got my yellow american apparel hoodie yesterday, havent taken it off since. Got some sweeeet stunna shades today. =]] Adrian called me a nerd just cause I have glassess, psh, whateverrrr. All those damnkids who laugh at me for being me need to regain there posture and laugh a themselves. But, whatever, I'm ebaying right now. Trying to get this shirt. Updates coming soon, check em out.

I have way to many problems with. My 'friends' are hating me. I take things way to seriously when I shouldnt, and dont take things seriously when I should. I'm super excited for the Paramore concert. I'm wishing I could go to McKennas house right now. I think I have a sleeping problem. Im never tired when I should be, and if I am tired, I cant fall asleep. Saw IV is wayyyy gross. I like sausage. Im to random for my own good. I want to be a model but I really dont think I, pretty enough. Those pictures from the past were testers.......and looking back now, I love the photographer, but not so much the pictures. IT is pretty much the weirdest movie. Im losing track of all my inside jokes. Im craving ice cubes. McKenna got me pregnant (haha, JK) and you know your jelous. I need a photographer to do a shoot with me, any volunteers? And have you ever noticed how all the good guys are taken? Its so retarded, why cant I have a good guy?

 

 

My secret luverrr just made a buzznet btw, add her:

 

xocanadianox.buzznet.com

 

lol, DINYSORE

So, updates!!

• I'm going to be working at two carnivals in South Dakota. One at the Corn Palace, and the other.....I dont know where. Let me know if your going.
• I bought some Chanel earrings, I love them.
• My new best friend is George.
• Have you tried ostrich jerky? It sounds gross, but its actually really good.
• My friend moved, and kidnapped my Fall Out Boy movie.
• I'm buying a sidekick.
• This dude wants to fuck me. His name is Tyrone. 

So, my summer is completely ruined, and its my moms fault. Now normally, my mom is my best friend, and I'd rather hang out with her instead of anyone else, but now, I dont want to hang ot with her, and I'd actually rather hang out with anyone but her. Its her fault I cant go to Warped Tour now, and do you know what she did to 'try' and make it better? She bought me a bunch of Warped Tour related stuff. Oh yeah because looking at a bunch of stuff is going to not make me think about it.

I've got a new friend, haha, I hate her to death, but for some reason I'm hanging out with her now. You guys may know who she is if you've actually read my past journal entries. Her name you ask?  Angel.

I'm loosing my mind sitting here and thinking. I want to do something, but I cant. I wish I was prettier, and I defiantly wish I was skinnier. I'm the fucking fatest person on the internet. And the ugliest. I ate a cupcake, how I wish I hadnt. I dropped my camera on the sidewalk, and my Sidekick in a bathtub full of water. Cause, well, there was this party, and uh, then there were people 'swimming' in the tub, and then there were bubbles, and I dropped my sidekick, thats sad.

I attempted going to see Transformers. That failed miserably. And on another note, me and jake broke up. Amazing, my summer is just going so well, dont you think? I think I'm going to go shopping tommorrow, but I highly doubt it. I need to find a really cute pair of flat boots. Not for any reason involving Audrey, Hanna Beth, Zui, or Ashlee Lauren. I just need them for this party.

I'll do more updates later, maybe, keep track on how sucky my summer is. Haha, if you find soemthing funny, or something interesting, I think you should let me know, help me out with my summer. Cant wait to see Harry Potter 5, and cant wait for the 7th book.

Love you guys.
-Ashley

 

 

Why is it that when people talk about committing suicide or how they've tried to commit suicide, people comfort them, and I talk about it,
I get told that I'm looking for attention?

Why is it, I be myself and I get called fake?

Why is it, if I tell my boyfriend I love him in a blog, I get called a whore?

Why is it, when someone hacked into my account and said stuff to a buzznet user, I get blamed for it. (michellelovesryan)

Why is it, that if I post pictures of someone, I get called obbsessed, and someone else could have more pictures of that person, and
everyone ignores them.

Buzznet is the worst place on the internet, few people are nice to me anymore.

Everyone thinks there famous on Buzznet.

Ha!

Sorry my friends, you'll never be famous, not even on Buzznet.

-Ashley

Josh Farro, I'll see you at Warped Tour on July 29!  If your going to the one in Minneapolis, then lets hang out.

"Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody)"

You say the sweetest things and I
Can't keep my heart from singing along to the sound of your song
My stupid feet keep moving to this 4/4 beat, I'm in time with you
Whoa, to this 4/4 beat I would die for you (die for you)

(Someone stop this)
I've gone to far to come back from here, but you don't have a clue
You don't know what you do to me

Won't someone stop this song, so I won't sing along
Someone stop this song, so I won't sing..

I never let love in so I could keep my heart from hurting
The longer that I live with this idea, the more I sink into this 4/4 beat
I'm in time with you
Whoa, to this 4/4 beat I would die for you (stop this song)

I've gone to far to come back from here, but you don't have a clue
You don't know what you do to me
I've come to far to get over you, and you don't have a clue
You don't know what you do to me

Can't someone stop this song, so I won't sing along
Someone stop this song, so I won't sing

Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight
But you won't get to me if I don't sing

It creeps in like a spider
Can't be killed, although I try and try to
Well, don't you see I'm falling?
Don't wanna love you, but I do

(Lovesick melody) Can someone stop this song, so I won't sing along?
(Lovesick melody) Can someone stop this song, so I won't sing?
Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight
But you won't get to me, no
You won't get to me 'cause I won't sing


"Born For This"

Oh no I just keep on falling
(Back to the same old…)
Where’s hope when misery comes crawling?
(Oh my way, Ay…)
With your faith you’ll trigger a landslide
(victory)
Kill off this common sense of mind

It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine
You can’t down it with your eyes
So we don’t need the headlines
We don’t need the headlines
We just want…

(We want the airwaves back, we want the airwaves back)

Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?
Everybody live like it’s the last day you will ever see
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?

Right now you’re the only reason
(I’m not letting go, oh…)
Time out if everyone’s worth pleasing
(Well ha-ha!)
You’ll trigger a landslide
(Victory)
to kill off their finite state of mind

It takes acquired minds to taste, to taste, to taste this wine
You can’t down it with your eyes
So we don’t need the headlines
No, we don’t want your headlines
We just want…

(We want the airwaves back, we want the airwaves back)

Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?
Everybody live like it’s the last day you will ever see
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?

Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure?
[repeat x2]

Alright, so you think you’re ready?
Ok, then you say this with me
Go!
We were born for this
We were born for this
Alright, so you think you’re ready?
OK, then you say this with me
Go!
We were born for this
We were born for this
We were born for this
We were born for this

We were born for
We were born for

Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?
Everybody live like it’s the last day you will ever see
Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure now?

Everybody sing like it’s the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?
Tell me, tell me, can you feel the pressure?

We were born for this
We were born for this
We were born for this



"Fences"

I'm sitting in a room,
Made up of only big white walls and in the hall
There are people looking through
The window in the door
they know exactly what we're here for.

Don't look up
Just let them think
There's no place else
You'd rather be.

You're always on display
For everyone to watch and learn from,
Don't you know by now,
You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style.
You'll go out in style.

If you let me I could,
I'd show you how to build your fences,
Set restrictions, separate from the world.
The constant battle that you hate to fight,
Just blame the limelight.

Don't look up
Just let them think
There's no place else
You'd rather be.

And now you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.
So smile.

Yeah, yeah you're asking for it
With every breath that you breathe in
Just breathe it in.
Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it.
I said let's see you walk it.

Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it.
I said let's see you walk it.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, yeah oh oh open wide.
Yeah, oh oh open wide,
'Cause you'll go out in style.
You'll go out in style.

Like Whoa! Clothing

Jake!!

 

I     You!

When everything went wrong, I expected you to be my hero, but you weren't, you never were. you were a lying cheating jerk. spreading rumors about me, and saying I did stuff that i never would have in a million years, and even if I did, I never would have told you because I knew you would do this to me one day. But much worse then that, much, much worse, you tried to make me cry, you tried to make me break, but you know what? I'm stronger then what your little ass thought. So take everything I ever had pride in, and throw it away, go ahead. And while your out there, jump in the fire you started, and keep feeding it until it goes out. Keep thinking your perfect. Keep thinking your the only one I could ever love. Ha, right. Keep thinking your the strongest guy out there, because believe me, you arent. There are tons of guys out there who are way stronger then you because they dont do this shit to there so called 'girlfriend '.  But lets celebrate now. Were over. Broken up. And honestly, I couldnt give a fuck if he kept feedign the zoo animals and making the other girl happy while I find actual love.

after a long hiatus, the trashylife takeover will soon be back in full swing.

a new trashy set is being shot on April 22nd and Audrey Kitching and Zui Suicide will be auctioning off their gear from that shoot on eBay to help A Cause for Concern raise money for the families of the Virginia Tech shooting.

dont miss your chance to score some one of a kind swag right off their backs and help a great cause all at the same time!

details on the Trashylife/ACFC auction soon!

for more information on A Cause for Concern, visit the myspace and friend it too!

www.myspace.com/causeconcern

or message sylvs on AIM (twistofarsenic)

save your money and tell your friends because this is an opportunity you dont want to miss!

So, happy easter to all my friends!

I'd send all you guys some giant chocolate bunnies, but I'd probably eat them all before I sent them.

 

If you guys like Deal Or No Deal, you should play this game:

Game

On Friday my aunt is bringing me out to lunch.

I'm trying Sushi.

Audrey said it was good.

What do the people who've tried it think?

Have you noticed how life is like wrestling now?
Or like a horror movie where the dumb blondes head gets chopped off by a crazy homicidel maniac because she went into the woods alone?
Everything is fake.
Someone pretended to be someone I went to school with and asked for my private email.
Yes, I have two.
One private, that one only goes to people I really know in reality, or to people I'm really good friends with on the internet.
And the second one I post on every site.
But seariously, all these people pretending to be Audrey or Hanna Beth. Even Zui or Jac.
And theres Panic! and Fall Out Boy being torn apart by rabid fan girls on here begging for their screen names, when its not even really the guys.
Come on people, get a life, stop pretending to be something your not.

They welcomed Zavia into their family on March 19!!

I wish them luck!

No " oh im sorry lauren" no " it will be okay" none of that please


Vent
I own a company now...I am out the door by 9 am and back home sometimes by 12 am
do paperwork then wake up and do it again 7 days A week. It sucks BUT its great cause I never see her
sounds bad saying " its great i never see her" but if you lived my life you would understand
a mother is soppose to be someone whos there for you and vise versa in my case shes a stranger.
we have never been close I look in her eyes and feel nothing
sounds sooo bad to say that but sometimes the truth isnt so pretty

as i write this I hear her threatening to shoot herself with my dad shot gun
threats
funny its really diffucult to commit suicide with a shot gun mom im thinking
but whatever
shes always saying shes gonna kill her self

today started as another normal stressful day for me
i helped my friend beda do somestuff which was worth every second
then i switch my sprint family plan number over to my tmobile phone so i wont have to rack up my moms bills so high with text messaging...i thought i was doing somethign good. and she would be happy
instead she calls me screaminh about how it charged her 170 dollars for a cacelation fee..
i explained iw ould pay it as soon as i got home...
she didnt care
she continued to call me over and over screaming then hanging up..and when iw ouldnt answer the phone she would leave mean voice messages like a child prank calling
shes never happy
i use to care but after years and years of the same shit i became a shell

- she just walked by the computer room and called me a bitch- wanting a response from me. she wont get one

she acts liek alittle kid throwing rocks at someone on a playground shes a bully
i hope im a better mother than she is

if i could just afford to move out i would
i lived in my car soo many times i cant cound anymore just because i couldnt take her
my sister callie wont talk tyo any of us anymore until we all go to therapy i want to go mom and dad refuse

john was home before i got here and walked into a tornado she was passing around the house with the gun in her hand threatenign to kill herself
thrh started breaking shit in the house
sounds like a cry for attention to me but who knows

my lifes weird

seems so fun doesnt it so carefree but little know what i deal with everyday
im not rich
i have a fucked up family
ive been suicidal
ive been homeless
and allot is because of her

christmas

this should be fun
callie isnt coming home from nyc this year she doesnt wanna see any of us until we stop fighting like we do

kedren is comong although i dont want to se her she said ill ber a terrible mom
it broke my heart she said allot of other shit too i wont go into


moms crying now dont know why
my lifes crazy
mood swings

i want out
im not going to be happy here
and i know zavia cant be aroudn this


when i was a month pregnant my mom threw me in a closet and beat me up
drug me across the living room floor by my shirt

i told her if she kills my baby ill kill her i meant this



white trash?
yeh definitly


my dad sits quietly alone watching the simpsons on the couch
he has his head down to the floor with his head in his hands
i love him so much but we both never say it
he doesnt talk much
i dont really know him either but i do know i would do anythign for him
im a daddy girls although we never talk


my mom tore the christmas tree apart

in a fit of rage
i wasnt here john was tho hiding in our room

my life is full of drama and domestic abuse

im saving money now to get away

i could move away and never speak to her again in my life and feel no remorse
i know that should be something you would feel bad for saying but for me i feel nothing
like i said im a shell

whern i was younger i remember i always thought my dad was the bad one he was always screaming and yelling kate at night when me and my sisters were soppose to be sleeping
my dad was always the one starting fights.. or so i thought now i see how she starts it all and doesnt let anything die which builds up his anger and he finally snaps

she just made it seem like it was all him
it never was


i use to sneak out late at night and walk the train tracks
up and down thr tracks just to clear my mind and to get away
its easier now that i have a car i can just drive and drive until im almost out of gas...i use to wish i would accedinitaly drive off a cliff

i have something so important now that non of that crosses my mind. she wont break me or zavia i wont let her.



shes talking to the dogs now like ther people
she drinks allot of wine

i get a pain in my side from stress i think its zavia elbowing me telling me to chill out..



(Since everyone seems to be asking, Zui's livejournal link is Click

TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Who wants to come over and ave a party tonight?

Who cares if its Sunday, I dont have school tommorow and sure you dont either.

So, call

651-did-you-really-think-i'd-give-you-my-number?

okey dokey?

E-mail- lovexlikexwhoa@yahoo.com

AIM- trashylife21

Um.....what else......talk to me and we'll throw a party together.
It'll be fun.

I'm making a video, right now, yeah, anyway, KELSEY!!

Your coming over tonight!

Call me hun, cause I'm bored.

 

Loves,
Ashley