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January 28, 2007

WTF is this about? Its funny though

An Unusual Series of Events Leads to the Death of a Popular Band

In a recent flame thrower incident, Panic! At the disco member Ryan Ross, to the horror and shock of many dedicated fans,
was horribly burned in his facial area, and was transported to the hospital, where he received skin transplants,
which spared his life, but unfortunately, did not spare his notoriously attractive features. His concerned band mates
would hardly leave his side, but finally departed from the hospitalized Ross to attend a fundraiser for the “Save the Llamas Foundation”
at a local zoo. Crowds gathered to see the anticipated performance, but, amongst the screaming fans, somehow, disaster took hold.
Although employees currently draw no conclusions as to how the cage was opened, a chimpanzee was suddenly loose in the audience,
and it headed directly for the stage. Passerby looked on with expressions of strained horror as the enraged primate descended on lead
singer and guitarist Brendon Urie, who took no notice of the coming attack. When the animal struck his terrified target, it took no hesitation
in its attack plan. With foam at the mouth, it plunged its hand into the throat of Urie, pulling out the singer’s treasured vocal chords and
killing its victim on the spot. When Police came, they found no evidence of the chimpanzee being purposefully let out, and the case was
dismissed as a mere unfortunate coincidence. The chimpanzee was expected to be put to death, but the two other band members, guitarist
Jon Walker and drummer Spencer Smith, took hold of the situation and pleaded ownership of the criminal chimp. The two later left with
their new primate friend, Jon stating before his departure, “It came as no surprise to us that Brendon came to his death today. Seriously,
like, he had it coming. And we don’t blame the chimp, in fact, we totally, like, love this monkey now. I decided I’m going to name it Juan.
Juan the chimp.” The band’s bodyguard fell behind the departing (and now shrunken) band, and he later took to the empty chimpanzee
cage, taking on a new life as a primate to rid him of the guilt he felt for Urie’s death. As if reverse evolution was taking place, he began
to take on ape-like qualities, such as scratching of his underarms, incessant screeching, and rapid hair growth all in the matter of five
minutes. Although it seemed that the antics of this popular band was over for the moment, it was not yet over-later that night the police
were consumed in a high-speed chase, which lasted nearly an hour down a Las Vegas high way. The police soon caught up to the
speeding vehicle, a stolen cherry-red Volkswagen Bug, and forced the driver to pull over to the side of the road. The police were shocked
to find a familiar face at the wheel-it was Juan, the chimpanzee who had murdered Urie just that morning. The passenger, Jon Walker,
was intoxicated to the point where he vomited on the police officer upon exiting the vehicle, and suspicious officers began a search of
the vehicle. The trunk was opened, and in it they found a corpse, which was later identified as friend and Panic! At the Disco band
member Spencer Smith. The corpse fashioned a dirty t-shirt which read “jwalk owns my ass”, and its clothing and shoes were bulbous
with secret stashes of various different drugs. After facing trial on January 18, 2007, Walker was sentenced to a total of 25 years in prison.
However, he was destined for an unusual demise just as his friends were, for he died by being stabbed through the throat with a toothbrush
by his cellmate, who despised Walker’s constant theft of his treasured bobby pins. Upon the imprisonment (and decease) of his legal owner,
Juan the chimpanzee came into the care of still hospitalized Ross. Ross was delighted for this new friend in his time of mourning and, in his
case, intense pain in his injuries, but Juan was not as pleased. Within fifteen minutes of coming into Ross’s care, Juan was driven insane
by his new owner’s horrible deformity, and brutally ripped apart the face doctors and worked endlessly to replace, leaving Ross dead, just
as his friends had come to be. And so came about the death of a young but epic band, and a funeral is to be held for each of the band
members on the date of February 3, 2007.

Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_a_Band

What. The. Fuck.

Tags: brendonurie, jonwalker, monkey, panicatthedisco, ryanross, spencersmith

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Posted on 01/28/2007 3:28 PM Comments (3)

January 26, 2007

I cant believe I lied just to say hi

Do you guys know who is really hot?
No, not Adam, I dont like him anymore......sorry fangirlies.
I like (Insert however you spell his last name) International.
Well, his name is Dan.....if you go to my school you know who he is, hes really good at basketball, looks like a guy me and my friend nicknamed duckie.
But we dont need to discuss that, I'm sorry.
If you know who he is, then please dont tell anyone, even if you dont know who he is dont tell anyone.
I trust you guys.
Leave my pictures comments, buzz them, anything.

Peace Cheese Slice

Tags: ashley

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Posted on 01/26/2007 6:13 PM Comments (0)