March 21, 2007Congrats Zui and John!They welcomed Zavia into their family on March 19!! I wish them luck!
Posted on 03/21/2007 2:43 PM Comments (3)
March 14, 2007From Zuis LiveJournal
No " oh im sorry lauren" no " it will be okay" none of that please
Vent I own a company now...I am out the door by 9 am and back home sometimes by 12 am do paperwork then wake up and do it again 7 days A week. It sucks BUT its great cause I never see her sounds bad saying " its great i never see her" but if you lived my life you would understand a mother is soppose to be someone whos there for you and vise versa in my case shes a stranger. we have never been close I look in her eyes and feel nothing sounds sooo bad to say that but sometimes the truth isnt so pretty as i write this I hear her threatening to shoot herself with my dad shot gun threats funny its really diffucult to commit suicide with a shot gun mom im thinking but whatever shes always saying shes gonna kill her self today started as another normal stressful day for me i helped my friend beda do somestuff which was worth every second then i switch my sprint family plan number over to my tmobile phone so i wont have to rack up my moms bills so high with text messaging...i thought i was doing somethign good. and she would be happy instead she calls me screaminh about how it charged her 170 dollars for a cacelation fee.. i explained iw ould pay it as soon as i got home... she didnt care she continued to call me over and over screaming then hanging up..and when iw ouldnt answer the phone she would leave mean voice messages like a child prank calling shes never happy i use to care but after years and years of the same shit i became a shell - she just walked by the computer room and called me a bitch- wanting a response from me. she wont get one she acts liek alittle kid throwing rocks at someone on a playground shes a bully i hope im a better mother than she is if i could just afford to move out i would i lived in my car soo many times i cant cound anymore just because i couldnt take her my sister callie wont talk tyo any of us anymore until we all go to therapy i want to go mom and dad refuse john was home before i got here and walked into a tornado she was passing around the house with the gun in her hand threatenign to kill herself thrh started breaking shit in the house sounds like a cry for attention to me but who knows my lifes weird seems so fun doesnt it so carefree but little know what i deal with everyday im not rich i have a fucked up family ive been suicidal ive been homeless and allot is because of her christmas this should be fun callie isnt coming home from nyc this year she doesnt wanna see any of us until we stop fighting like we do kedren is comong although i dont want to se her she said ill ber a terrible mom it broke my heart she said allot of other shit too i wont go into moms crying now dont know why my lifes crazy mood swings i want out im not going to be happy here and i know zavia cant be aroudn this when i was a month pregnant my mom threw me in a closet and beat me up drug me across the living room floor by my shirt i told her if she kills my baby ill kill her i meant this white trash? yeh definitly my dad sits quietly alone watching the simpsons on the couch he has his head down to the floor with his head in his hands i love him so much but we both never say it he doesnt talk much i dont really know him either but i do know i would do anythign for him im a daddy girls although we never talk my mom tore the christmas tree apart in a fit of rage i wasnt here john was tho hiding in our room my life is full of drama and domestic abuse im saving money now to get away i could move away and never speak to her again in my life and feel no remorse i know that should be something you would feel bad for saying but for me i feel nothing like i said im a shell whern i was younger i remember i always thought my dad was the bad one he was always screaming and yelling kate at night when me and my sisters were soppose to be sleeping my dad was always the one starting fights.. or so i thought now i see how she starts it all and doesnt let anything die which builds up his anger and he finally snaps she just made it seem like it was all him it never was i use to sneak out late at night and walk the train tracks up and down thr tracks just to clear my mind and to get away its easier now that i have a car i can just drive and drive until im almost out of gas...i use to wish i would accedinitaly drive off a cliff i have something so important now that non of that crosses my mind. she wont break me or zavia i wont let her. shes talking to the dogs now like ther people she drinks allot of wine i get a pain in my side from stress i think its zavia elbowing me telling me to chill out.. (Since everyone seems to be asking, Zui's livejournal link is Click
Posted on 03/14/2007 11:31 AM Comments (3)
March 6, 2007HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Posted on 03/06/2007 2:50 PM Comments (3)
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